A conversation with … myself

The other day, while watching the series finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation, I found myself pondering the myth science of time travel.

I wondered what might happen to the space-time continuum if, through a temporal anomaly, present-day Fleck (PDF) could visit pre-runner Fleck (PRF) and have a chat about PRF’s future. In my mind, it went a little something like this:

Temporal anomaly opened

PRF : Why are your legs so fat?

PDF: It’s not fat. It’s muscle. Here, poke my thigh.

granite

PRF: Good grief, woman. What happened to your thigh gap?

PDF: Gone. I lost it around the time I lost my last toenail.

PRF: But, what about my new open-toed Loubou –

PDF: I don’t wear open-toed shoes anymore. And I wear nothing that starts with “L-O-U”, only “L-U”. Don’t worry about the toenails, though – they grow back. Well, my right baby toenail probably won’t. I’ll put it this way – in about 2 years, you’re going to start investing heavily in the black nail polish market.

every nail has a story

PRF: Why don’t you have any hair?

open-hand

PDF: I can’t tell you that. It would create a temporal rift in the space-time continuum.

historical hair

PRF: So what’s this “running” thing all about, anyway?

PDF: Well, most days, I wake up around 5:30am and –

PRF: 5:30?!?!?! Woman, are you MAD?!

PDF: It’s my favorite time of the day! Runners call it “runrise”. See, you start your run while the stars are out, and end it when the sun’s up. The world is calm, and you see all kinds of animals and birds. Sometimes, I do what I call “Count the Buns Runs”. I see all kinds of bunnies on my runs, so I set a number in my head and keep running until I’ve seen that many bunnies.

Runrise

PRF: But, I’ve already got a bunny. Why would I want to sweat to see bunnies?

PDF: Well, actually, sweat is really good for your skin. I save a ton on cosmetics.

PRF: Speaking of, what’s wrong with your face?

PDF: Oh, that, yeah. I don’t wear makeup now. There’s really no point. Even the waterproof stuff doesn’t survive my sweat waterfalls. But, it’s not all that bad, actually. I’m told I look much younger without it. Some call me “Basic” but, hey, I’m the one who’s asked for ID when I go to the pub.

PRF: Seriously though, what about your hair?!?! You must wash it, like, twice a day.

polluting the timeline

PDF: As I was saying. My favorite runs are the really long ones on days when I don’t have any plans. Last week, I ran a 15 miler on my day off, and it was glorious.

PRF: Umm, what about, oh… you know, maybe… RELAXING ON YOUR DAY OFF?!

PDF: Running IS relaxing. It clears my mind, it reminds me that I’m alive, and it makes me feel… free.

PRF: So, you’re telling me that in the future I become a Basic bald chick with no toenails, who has thick legs, who wakes up at 5:30am on her days off to run 15 miles, who doesn’t wear makeup, but feels ‘free’? You know what, Future Fleck? I’ll never be a runner. In fact, I’m going for a pedicure, and then I’m going sandal shopping.

temporal rift

PDF: Hey, have you started that sugar-free diet yet?

PRF: Ugh. It’s awful. I’m miserable and have no energy. But, look! No muffin top!

PDF: Yeah, umm. You know what else I love about running?

PRF: What?

PDF: Yesterday, I had ice cream and wine for dinner. I feel fantastic, and, look! No(t much) muffin top!

apple cores

PRF: I’ll go get my Tommy Hilfiger runners.

 

All good things

 

 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “A conversation with … myself

  1. Runrise, my favourite time of day. I don’t take advantage of this time enough. Thank you for this inspiration.

    You rock Fleck, 15 mile runs….that is awesome. You should seriously consider doing a FULL this year. I know you can do it! 🙂
    As always, another great post! 🙂
    ~Carl~

    Liked by 1 person

    • I still foster a love for the pretty shoes, even if I no longer wear them often… as for the legs, well… I’m pretty sure my calves are twice the size they used to be, as are my quads! Thanks for the read! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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